Baby monitors for seniors

When I first moved in with my mother, she was having such trouble walking that she moved from her room to the guestroom, and I moved into the den right next door to her. That way she could always call out for assistance during the night and I could get to her fast enough to avoid any accidents, of any sort. It was reassuring for me to know she could call me. Finally though, she got strong enough, both physically and mentally, to want to return to her own room. It was a great step towards more independence but it did mean that I could no longer be sure to hear her and help her. As she was walking so much better though, I wasn't too concerned.

Several months later, I was wakened very early by her shouts. I found her on the floor, incapable of using her legs properly. She had had to drag herself to the livingroom to call me. She, of course, had no recollection of how nor even where she had fallen. She spent three weeks in the hospital and rehabilitation center where I stayed with her to calm her fears and bewilderment. Sleeping next to her gave me such reassurance that I realized that I would have to find a solution for home. I certainly didn't want to move into her room with her. I went back to the Web to find a solution for seniors.

There are several intercom or walkie-talkie type systems available. It would require, however, that my mother remember to use it which she wouldn't because she wouldn't remember that it was there or what it was. I settled on a baby security monitor. It was an excellent, inexpensive solution to my problem. I didn't even have to take the video option since snoring old ladies are hardly as cute as little baby. I have it on all day and the range is so good that I can even hear her go into the kitchen to make herself a coffee (of course she DOES shuffle her feet quite a bit). As I spend quite a bit of time in my room at the computer, the monitor allows me to know when she is sleeping or awake and pottering around in her room. That, in turn, allows me to know when would be a good time to propose an activity liking folding the laundry, going to get the mail or go out for groceries.

I know that a real "for seniors" system with two-way communication can be invaluable in the care of an invalid, just for the peace of mind and reassurance that it can give both parties, as well as sparing the caregiver all sorts of trips back and forth to the invalid's room. In the case of dementia though, I am sure that it could only bring confusion, at least initially to the demented, then perhaps aggravation to the caregiver when the patient, finally or maybe, figures out how it works and demands a response at any or all moments.

I have told my mother often that she need only call me and I will come; but since I don't want to emphasize the presence of the monitor, and have hidden it behind her curtains, when she wants me, she comes all the way to my room. That's great! This is a big house and since she refuses to go to physical therapy, this is a good way for her to get some exercise!

time for respite

The need for respite care is something that appears OVER and OVER, on all the caregiver sites, as being crucial. I personally was not ready to pay too much attention to that advice when I first moved in with my mother a year ago. First the physical and mental changes in her were so dramatic that I couldn't imagine thinking about anything BUT her. The first few months of watching her every step, controlling her diet, dealing with her memory loss, calling 911 left my head spinning. I DIDN'T want to join a chat or compare notes. I didn't want help because I was convinced I didn't need help. I certainly didn't want to leave her to someone else's care to take time for respite. I was convinced that I was essential to her well-being.

Then her health started to improve. Of course. As any health care person can tell you, the better the person is cared for, generally the more he or she will thrive. All of a sudden I realized that we were no longer in an "emergency" situation. My constant physical presence was no long really crucial. My mother was even able to move back to her room instead of the guestroom next to mine. I finally realized that I was in this for the long run. The person who now needed help was me. The notion of finding "time for respite" started to make sense. Caregiving is an incredible balance of self-abnegation and self-recognition. It is essential that the caregiver be aware of what he or she can or is willing to do. Many caregivers have family members or friends who are willing to take over the care duties for a time so that the caregiver can become his/herself for a while, take a little time for respite. For others, things are a little more difficult.

Our own family is so spread out that I find myself totally alone for the day-to-day care. I have great support from my family through the phone and e-mails, but that doesn't really help me be me. I needed respite, so back to the Web! I think the main source of information was www.eldercare.gov. More than just the respite issue, this site addresses many other aspects of taking care of a senior. It also allows you to discover what is available in advice and assistance in your area. Attending caregiver training sessions allows you to see that you are not alone... and that your situation is far from the worst!!

On-line glasses for not quite so seniors

My love affair with on-line shopping started last fall when my mother was not well enough to go out Christmas shopping, but was too afraid to stay at home alone. I got into on-line catalogues and had the time of my life.

After whetting my appetite on gifts for others, I decided to look around for something for myself. I realized that what I really wanted were a pair of bifocal glasses. I usually only wear reading glasses, but I AM getting older and the TV is slowly getting blurrier. I decided to try a pair of on-line glasses, bifocals. Since I only really need them to watch about an hour of TV at night while doing my crochet, I didn't want to spend big bucks. On the Web, people were saying that on-line glasses were great so I decided to order a pair and see what I'ld get.

I must mention that my eyes are very close together so that I look like an owl when I wear full glasses. It is honestly depressing for me to try on glasses; they look so good on the shelf, then when I put them on... I figured that on-line glasses might be a solution because ALL the measurements are listed so I could check out the WHOLE selection just in function of the bridge width! There were several sites available and even one where I could put a picture of myself and see how the glasses would look. I wound up on Zennioptical's site and I must say, I had days of fun, checking out all the glasses. Since this was a bit of a lark, I took my time but of course wound up with very staid bifocals as you can see, since it is hard to break old habits (of being reasonable). BUT 40$!!, signed, sealed and delivered. How cool is that!! and they are GREAT!

I wouldn't recommend these for my mother (who has very bad eyes), or for any seniors with dementia, mostly because she is not receptive to anything new. With her loss of memory she is only comfortable with things that are familiar: her glasses, and what she looks like with her glasses on. But if your senior doesn't have these kinds of problems and would just like to "change how they look a bit", then why not!!! Fun is fun. At these prices, who cares, and it never hurts to have an extra pair of glasses around the house.

Since I am not my mother so on-line glasses, let me on them! I now have prescription sunglasses for distance, glasses for distance (I can't believe how working in the garden is so much more interesting now that I can see the plants) and the latest, full-size reading glasses. My choices of frames are getting funkier and funkier. It is so handy to have an extra pair of glasses in my bag and ... learning to draw is SOOOOOO much easier now that I can see both what I am drawing and what I have drawn!

Local medical supplies dealers

I must admit that, though I'm a great fan of the Web and on-line shopping, for the medical supplies I went with the local medical supplies dealer. First I got caught out by time then also by ignorance. I usually live in Europe, so when I moved in with my mother, I knew nothing about Medicare and what was available to my mother. Also I moved in because of her memory loss, not expecting the TIA's, the stroke or the fall. Mental problems became secondary to the physical ones. I really didn't know where to turn for help and advice on the senior supplies.

Fortunately my mother has been going to the same pharmacy for years and they are connected to a great medical supplies store. I'm giving you their site, mostly so that you can see what you should expect from a good site:www.brevardmedicalequip.com. I think they are only a local organization but they are really wonderful. If you live in the area, I seriously recommend them. They list most of the Medicare requirements and limitations. It was through them that I was forewarned of Medicare's policies.

This brings us to the final possibility for medical equipment: leasing. With a local medical supplies dealer, you are going to get equipment that will be serviced easily and quickly. Also, if there is a change in the physical status of your senior, then a local dealer will change your equipment accordingly without all the hullabaloo that an on-line servicer might require. It is definitely something to consider and check out in advance. I was VERY surprised to see the prices at Brevard Medical Equipment, they definitely matched what I was seeing on the Web and some were even purposely limited to the Medicare contribution. It may be sympathy with the senior market or just good marketing in general since there are a lot of seniors here in Florida, but it was certainly a relief to me.

Where to buy major senior supplies

This is really a ticklish question. I guess the answer lies is your comfort zone. If you know what you are doing or have family or friends who can advise you, then you've got no problem. If, on the other hand, you got dropped into this situation fairly quickly (as I did), then I can only recommend that you try to be as far-sighted as possible. Always think long-term and try to prepare for the next step so that you don't get caught out when it comes to the more major senior supplies.

This doesn't mean that you have to have the hospital bed already stored in the garage just because your dad now needs a cane to walk. It does mean that you should think about where you are going to go for your medical senior supplies. If you are Web-oriented, or even just curious about what is available, check out the sites. There are a lot of them out there.

For the DME (Durable Medical Equipment), many companies offer the choice of new or used equipment. Remember that Medicare is only going to give you one of what you need (see my other posts). But sometimes, it's nice to have more than one of something. I'm thinking of walkers here, but it's true for the other items too. Just so you don't have to keep folding up and transporting the walker wherever you go, or up and down stairs, why not get a secondhand one to keep in the car or upstairs or at another caregiver's? I was particularly with the Allegro Medical site. It was easy to use and offered a big choice within each item.

walkers, the three wheelers

I might also mention that there ARE walkers that are 3-wheelers. These certainly fold up more nicely and take less room. They are less bulky in stores, for example, so you feel less like a bull in a china shop. They generally have baskets or bags or both fitted on them for convenience and/or shopping; seats, however, are definitely rarer because of the question of stability. I can imagine that these are particularly nice for seniors who can live independently, or for a temporary need.

On the other hand, since people with dementia are easily distracted or confused, they don't necessarily think about what they are doing and can easily push their walker onto an obstacle and tip over. Don't forget that someone who uses a walker is doing it for support and is weighing down on the handles. Tipping is a problem since it is hard to save yourself if you are falling forward and off to one side.

When choosing one, I found it helpful to go on line to read other people's comments. You can't always think of different aspects when you are first starting out, specially if you have to make a decision fairly quickly as was our case. It is helpful to read other caregiver's comments to realize what you SHOULD be thinking about... like how much the silly thing weighs if you are constantly going to have to be folding it and putting it in and taking it out of the car. Again, for convenience sake, to check things out, I simply used Walmart or Amazon. That's where these pictures come from. At least I know I can trust these two companies on pricing and they do give me a general idea of what is available, but there are A LOT of companies out there dealing in these same types of medical supplies, new and secondhand and they are worth looking into!

walkers, how many wheels??

Following a fall, my mother lost the use of her legs for a while. After two weeks of rehab, she was once again able to walk but now she needed a walker. I am sure this happens with many seniors. If money is tight for you, the caregiver, then you should think seriously about the walker that you are going to buy or lease.

Medicare will be willing to pay for only ONE walker (with doctor's prescription) so although your present need may be only temporary, don't forget that seniors' health generally worsens with age so you may need a walker again. Walkers come with no wheels, 2 wheels and 4 wheels. Medicare will make a flat contribution to a walker ONCE (then maybe again in 5 years, but they prefer to pay for repairs rather than give you a new one). If your senior is confined to the house, the no wheel and 2-wheelers are fine, since he or she can sit down on nearby furniture. They do require though that the senior be able to lift them a bit which can get tiring. If you are going to be going outside though, I seriously recommend that you get a 4-wheeler with a seat as your initial investment, even if it requires a co-pay. Outside, my mother generally only walks to the mailbox (150 ft) but some days she has to do it with two or three stops, and the seat is very handy. She also uses it in the house since it is less tiring than lifting her two wheel walker.

If you are wondering why we have two walkers it is because my mother has dementia. We had been well advised to get the 4-wheel walker initially which we did, but after my mother's fall, she was having trouble using the 4-wheeler because she had forgotten how to use the brakes, so it would skitter away and pose a fall risk. This is apparently QUITE common and is dealt with in occupational therapy in the rehab centers, but still it is a drawback to the 4-wheelers since the rehab training is quickly forgotten once you get home. It is also the reason that I recommend that you start out with the 4-wheelers: to try to train your senior into using the brakes naturally and automatically so they can use the walker as long as possible. Mobility is incredibly important for seniors (and their caregivers).

Then there is the question of leasing or buying, but that will be for another post.

The 36-Hour Day, a great guide to dementia

A year ago when I moved in with my mother, along with her serious problems of memory loss, I noticed that my mother was acting in strange, manic ways. During the day, she would communicate by monosyllables and appear unaware of anything around us, then at night, she would spend hours looking for the keys to the cars, checking her checkbooks, looking for her dogs (and cats!?! - she was in her 20's and living at home the last time she had a cat). A friend, whose mother had had to care for her husband during his years with Alzheimer's, gave me a wonderful book, The 36-Hour Day, a must in any senior supplies list.

It is not very "cheerful" reading, but I think that anyone in my situation is more interested in the truth and some solid advice and explanations than just positive, feel-good thinking. Rather than a personal history of one family's dealings with dementia, The 36-Hour Day is a clinical study of all the different aspects of this disease. The emphasis is on allowing the care-givers and family to understand what the situation is at any given moment and to prepare them for what is waiting for them down the road a bit. It is extremely complete and although I had thought that my mother was suffering only from memory loss, I quickly realized that she was not in the "incipient" stage of dementia. She has made progress from where she was, maybe even thanks to her stroke, but the smallest degree of stress causes her phobias to re-surface.

Thanks to the clarity of The 36-Hour Day, I know that these past few months of improvement are truly miraculous and to be enjoyed to the fullest, without fooling myself into believing that she is cured. We are starting to be able dredge things up from her long-term memory, but there has been no improvement in her short-term memory which is what you need for day-to-day life. I have gotten used to her being able to do crossword puzzles and even cryptograms, but be terrified of letting the dogs out in the yard for fear that they will somehow "disappear"(crocodiles, thieves, malicious neighbours, etc.).

I obviously highly recommend The 36-Hour Day, to be read in parts as they apply to your present situation and needs, or as a whole book which is what I did since I knew nothing about the situation I had gotten myself into and wanted to know how things would probably develop. It is also a well-recognized book in that it is often given as a door-prize at conferences dealing with seniors and dementia. Lucky winners!