The 36-Hour Day, a great guide to dementia

A year ago when I moved in with my mother, along with her serious problems of memory loss, I noticed that my mother was acting in strange, manic ways. During the day, she would communicate by monosyllables and appear unaware of anything around us, then at night, she would spend hours looking for the keys to the cars, checking her checkbooks, looking for her dogs (and cats!?! - she was in her 20's and living at home the last time she had a cat). A friend, whose mother had had to care for her husband during his years with Alzheimer's, gave me a wonderful book, The 36-Hour Day, a must in any senior supplies list.

It is not very "cheerful" reading, but I think that anyone in my situation is more interested in the truth and some solid advice and explanations than just positive, feel-good thinking. Rather than a personal history of one family's dealings with dementia, The 36-Hour Day is a clinical study of all the different aspects of this disease. The emphasis is on allowing the care-givers and family to understand what the situation is at any given moment and to prepare them for what is waiting for them down the road a bit. It is extremely complete and although I had thought that my mother was suffering only from memory loss, I quickly realized that she was not in the "incipient" stage of dementia. She has made progress from where she was, maybe even thanks to her stroke, but the smallest degree of stress causes her phobias to re-surface.

Thanks to the clarity of The 36-Hour Day, I know that these past few months of improvement are truly miraculous and to be enjoyed to the fullest, without fooling myself into believing that she is cured. We are starting to be able dredge things up from her long-term memory, but there has been no improvement in her short-term memory which is what you need for day-to-day life. I have gotten used to her being able to do crossword puzzles and even cryptograms, but be terrified of letting the dogs out in the yard for fear that they will somehow "disappear"(crocodiles, thieves, malicious neighbours, etc.).

I obviously highly recommend The 36-Hour Day, to be read in parts as they apply to your present situation and needs, or as a whole book which is what I did since I knew nothing about the situation I had gotten myself into and wanted to know how things would probably develop. It is also a well-recognized book in that it is often given as a door-prize at conferences dealing with seniors and dementia. Lucky winners!